Confession of Procrastination

There are words that wait to be written, like berries
on thorny canes. Excuses buzz and whine
around me like the gnats & mosquitoes

will if I go pick berries. There is one.
Two is the clock. It’s too early, the grass
is wet (I’ll wait); it’s too hot, the sun is

high; it’s too late, the light is fading, thick.
Day slips away, embroidered with almosts.
There is a sense of dread that rises up

with darkness, knowing in my bones’ marrow
(where it is darker than dark) that I am
incapable, inadequate. I always have,

always and forever, and always will.
The words wait. If I don’t pick them, later
I will see them, somewhere, and know someone,

someone else heard those faint sheer whisperings
in midair. Even mosquitos whine louder than
the whispers of unwritten words. I will

know those words might have been mine, and I failed
before they were born. Let them go to come again.
Or, the other. I try. I try. The last moment

finds me scribbling in resounding silence.
I hear them just a little better in darkness,
in the resounding silence in which, all asleep,

even the charging computer shrills a thin sigh.
I tried. Someone says kind words. I smile quietly,
gently; nod politely; but behind my eyes, cry.

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3 responses to “Confession of Procrastination

  1. I really this one. Sadly I seem to be living this one. I wish I would just step up and write the things I know I must. Putting it off just makes me feel like the coward who dies many deaths.

  2. I deeply understand that feeling. There is an apocryphal story of Colette hosting a party, hearing a young poet complain of having writer’s block. She whips around, and cusses at him. “Are you a writer? Then write! No one ever said it was easy. Just do it!” Kind of like Star Trek and Yoda, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.'” That is part of the challenge of the NaPoWriMo. Even though I’ve done this for years now, and know that I can do it, I never know if I can do it again. LOL! Sigh.

  3. Pingback: Confession Series, 2012 #NaPoWriMo #30in30 | Rosefire Rising

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