Confession of Killing

In hypothetical conversations
I always said I would kill, if needed.
A grim sense of purpose made me brazen.
Anyone who saw my face conceded,
and dropped it. Still, easier said than done,
and easiest when there’s no time to think.
When I think, I check puddles for earthworms
to rescue, scold small boys stoning a skink.
I also put out mouse poison, then pray
for the feral cats. Our dinner tonight,
a chicken breast, was bloody. Not O.K.,
I think, it must have happened while alive.
This morning, on the sink’s edge, a slug crept.
I watched, took a photograph, then drowned it.

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5 responses to “Confession of Killing

  1. I am not sure I would kill to save my own life. I might to save a famly member’s life – but who knows I feel guilty every time I kill an ant.

    • Bridget, that is exactly the kind of emotional dichotomy I was trying to bring out. I’ll feel guilty about killing an ant, but at the same time, when the kitchen is swarming with them, I’ll get practical about it. I know I would be willing to kill someone attacking a family member if I was present when the attack occurred and if I was unable to prevent or diminish the attack in other ways. I prefer to immobilize people, and have lots of experience with that approach. I used to think I would not be able to kill to save my own life. I’ve changed my mind. It would depend on the situation.

  2. I really like those last two lines. Thanks for the read.

    • There is a poem I can almost remember, by a woman poet about a neighbor talking over the fence about garden snails. The poem ends with the neighbor boiling them and smiling, while the poet recoils. I had that poem in mind while writing this one. The other one is better, by far.

  3. Pingback: Confession Series, 2012 #NaPoWriMo #30in30 | Rosefire Rising

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