The Lady Bombyx Mori Speaks of Kaiko Yashinai-gusa
II. Coccooning (5 days)
How to escape from this world
that makes no sense anymore,
this tension that rests, then crests,
this inconvenient yearning.
Whether or not to endure
this circular existence
moving flatly aslant, not
forward. How can I question
or answer when I cannot
subside or settle? I can’t.
I am restless, shifting, tense;
I am my own discomfort.
Pearllike, what can smooth over
the irritant I am now?
To sleep, dream, bind myself tight
in a soft safe solitude
which may or may not endure,
may or may not transform. Oh,
to sleep, to sleep, to dream, but
will I ever wake again,
or will I smother in this
which some call silken. Enough.
I do not realize this
decision was made
until after I am found
constrained, and am comforted
by constraint. Words of binding
spinning like threads from my mouth,
hardening into place as
they meet the air. My small mouth
opens, fog of sorts rising
from it like a sheer lake mist,
wrapping my body, numbing
and serene. I am a babe
swaddled against the flailing
of her developing nerves;
a mile of filament twines
me round. Ah, the surprising
places our mouths can lead us.
Goddess of Silk, Lady Luna,
Mother of all the Bombyx clan,
adored in dreams by we who hatch from eggs
only to crawl into another shell,
You are the greatest of us all,
we eggs and we shelled. Like us, You are first
whole, then broken, then hurt, then whole again.
Goddess Lady Mother, bless us.
Written: January – February 2001.