Daily Archives: September 8, 2018

On Being Asked What Is Triggering

(i)
The bird didn’t mean to fall
into my hands, all trembling

and stunned, poor thing. Fluttering
of hummingbirds, butterflies,

and fingers, all fragile, all
shed feathers/scales/scabs/moments.

Fluttering eyes, skittering
like water on a hot pan.

Fluttering of thoughts. The bones
are not broken, only nerves,

startled and stopped. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh,
I say. The bird still quivers.

(ii)
Cast from a cheap, bad, bronze mold,
my eyes don’t line up quite right.

My eyes are from a statue.
Stone-blind. Like weeping angels,

they look at nothing, nothing,
shifting in micro-jolts. There.

Vibrating at the level
of electrons. There. Again.

My eyes are from a robot.
They rotate on a gear shaft,

jerking. They need to be oiled.
My eyes are seeing something.

I don’t know what it is, but
they look so hard at nothing.

My eyes belong to the Fates,
looking across time and space,

seeing everything the same
then as now, the same as once,

the same as it will be, now
and always and forever.

My eyes lock, but there’s no key
to unlock them. A filmstrip

stutters and loops, repeating
the same few frames over and

over and over. Black. White.
Counting down. Counting down. I

won’t look, won’t look, but I can’t
close my eyes. Those dark shapes break,

flicker like static and sparks.
My eyes throw off sparks to match.

(iii)
Where are you? they ask. I don’t
hear them. Where are you?, they ask,

repeating and repeating,
until the babbling slows. Where

is now? I’m not sure. I look
around. I don’t remember

how I got here. As soon as
I know, I know where I am,

I don’t know where I was. Gone.
A cold clear gel fills the gaps

in memory with numbness.
I don’t know where I was. I

don’t know, don’t want to know. I
don’t want to know where I was.

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